Review: FEAR Scream Park 2023 at Avon Valley

Review: FEAR Scream Park 2023 at Avon Valley

Posted on: 25 Oct 2023

With just one week to go until Halloween 2023, reviewers Stan and Patrick journeyed to the UK’s Best Scream Park (according to voters) to try out the five scare attractions.

 

FEAR at Avon Valley Scream Park runs at Pixash Lane, Bath Road, Keynsham, BS31 1TP until Tuesday 31 October - grab your tickets, here.

 

Read on for both our respective takes on the FEAR experience, beginning with Patrick's review of the park exterior and then moving on to the attractions themselves...

 

Park Exterior

 

Patrick:

 

"The park as a whole didn’t make much of an impression to begin with – we arrived at our given ‘intake time’ still in daylight, and got to watch an employee struggle to light up the ‘FEAR’ sign with a long plastic lighter (in front of the much larger and friendlier Avon Valley Adventure & Wildlife Park). Entering through a rickety spinning tunnel, we were spat out in a gravel rectangle with a few fairground rides playing some pretty incongruous pop music. The atmosphere improved a little as it got dark and the walkabout performers came out to play (the ones in the “Republic of England” section were really convincing and menacing, and helped to cement the overall narrative there massively), but the whole thing still felt a touch sad. But if the park is sad, the food options are clinically depressed. There are two options for anything resembling a meal – opting for the chicken burger (with the only real vegetarian option between the two), they seemed thrown by me asking for a veggie option, revealing it was a Moving Mountains burger rather than the stated oyster mushroom patty. Undeterred, I ordered it anyway, and around twenty minutes (?!) later received a cold, lonely burger and bap, with a side of chips that roughly had the consistency of wet feathers."

X-4

 

Patrick:

 

"We started with X-4, a classic sci-fi horror narrative about an underground research base gone wrong, which was a good baseline for the rest of the park. It was mostly what you’d expect – lots of disorienting darkness and smoke with not-quite zombies jumping out and growling at you. It’s scary, although less so when the monsters inevitably end up just sort of stepping out of your way and pointedly not killing you. There’s an impressive sense of scale to the map (a setpiece with a lift, to begin with, was a great way to help achieve that), but we were so prone to getting lost that it often undercut the horror a bit; monsters are slightly less scary when they have to sneakily hint at the exit, or if it’s your second time seeing them because you accidentally looped back through a performer hallway."

 

Scare Rating: 6/10.           Quality Rating: 5/10.

 

Stan:

 

"The first attraction we took on in the Republic of England section of the park was X4. We were met with a performer playing the role of a military personnel, telling us we urgently had to travel underground before leading us to a lift. The lift sequence was an instant highlight with the jolts and effects playing on some classic human fears right from the off. We were then led through a series of brilliantly disorientating warren of tunnels, quickly losing our guide thanks to a sea of smoke, darkness and various seemingly mutant performers. I led the way for this one and didn’t have some of the scare warnings you get from being further back in the group, meaning X4 potentially gave me the most frights per minute of all the attractions."

 

Scare rating: 7/10.           Quality rating: 7/10.

The Core

 

Patrick:

 

"Before The Core even began, we were asked to slip on massive waders with integrated wellies – simultaneously intriguing and a bit of an unwelcome hassle, with no options for lockers to store your things, instead keeping your shoes on a bag on your back. Still, the water only came up to my knees (you’re probably taller than me, too) and it did add both some genuine novelty and immersion in the narrative. The scares here felt slightly more planned and sparing – there were classic googahs jumping out and growling, but also a few more subtle tactics and scares that didn’t erode suspension of disbelief as much. The ending was supremely weak, however – we left unsure if we’d completed the stated objective of the ‘mission’ we’d been given."

 

Scare Rating: 7/10.           Quality Rating: 7/10.

 

Stan:

 

"My first reaction (and I think Patrick's as well) to the sight of waders hung up at the entrance of The Core was 'no thank you;. But I wrestled them on nonetheless and headed into the maze where we were informed by an actor that poor Tommy had been lost in the depths, along with toxic sewage AND some kind of monster – poor Tommy! The most arresting aspect of this map was the corridors filled with murky water that takes all your attention from clawing hands and shapes moving in the shadows. However, the creature itself (once it rose) was somewhat disappointing and the story did end somewhat abruptly. The changing rooms where we removed our waders was abuzz with speculation about Tommy’s fate and I’m not sure whether this speaks to a success or a failure in storytelling."

 

Scare rating: 6/10.           Quality rating: 7/10.

VITA NOVA

 

Patrick:

 

"To me, this is the crown jewel in the “New World Order” section of the park. Ignoring the fact that they seemed to have ripped the entire narrative from the 2018 video game We Happy Few, the narrative, world and sense of immersion were given a lot more focus, which was welcome. The scares were much cleverer, too – to begin with, you’re separated from anyone else in your group and trapped in a pitch-black box for an indeterminate amount of time, and spend most of the experience alone. The tactics used to disorient you are much more varied and interesting, and there are two different types of scare performers (both of which are distinct enough to not just be zombies by another name), which really keeps you guessing. I don’t want to spoil the real variety of setpieces on display, but rest assured they’re interesting, fun, and scary – I will point out that one room involves electric shocks, however, which felt slightly irresponsible of them to not disclose. Overall though, I’d definitely call this the best experience at the park."

 

Scare Rating: 7/10.           Quality Rating: 8/10.

 

Stan:

 

"The great set-up in the Vita Nova attraction is that visitors are separated from the very start. It is a map that plays heavily on claustrophobia (perhaps there should have been a warning of this!) and disorientation, and you are left alone anticipating the scares to come for a decent amount of time at the start of the experience. Telling the story of a sinister drug treatment, from the very off it is clear that the performers’ roles, while giving them more space to tell their own story, are not quite as classically frightening. VITA NOVA once again used various tricks to disorientate us, with mirrored hallways making mannequins, performers, and even yourself equally as terrifying! The claustrophobia from the beginning of the map also continued throughout with a small crawl space at one point and, at another, I had to push my way through some inflated walls – which was probably the highlight of the map’s scenery. This was a really dynamic and unpredictable attraction."

 

Scare rating: 7/10.           Quality rating: 8/10.

House of Clowns

 

Patrick:

 

"House of Clowns was a truly innovative narrative experience that elevates itself beyond mere horror. No, I’m kidding – it was a house, with clowns in. HOC struck me as likely the first experience designed for the park: it’s simple, predictable, and very derivative. It did begin with a fairly clever sequence, however – a flat plane of laser light, around chest-high, that fools you into falling for a quite specific and unexpected scare. The performers felt as if they had a lot less to work with than the other experiences, but were trying their best – despite that, there was a slightly resigned energy to their nasty antics. This is another one that suffers from a very sudden and anticlimactic ending, too. Ultimately, it achieves its stated aim, as zombie clowns jumping out at you under strobe lighting will never not be scary. But, whilst it is scary, it’s just not very interesting, or much fun."

 

Scare Rating: 6/10.           Quality Rating: 3/10.

 

Stan:

 

"This attraction is pretty self-explanatory – a run-down circus attraction haunted by killer clowns. A slightly tired premise at this point, the performers didn’t seem to have much to work with, although provided plenty of jump scares throughout. In fact, this was the map where I showed myself to be a complete sucker as the same performer could jump out at me over and over again and I’d jump out of my skin each time! However, other than the first corridor of the map which was a real spectacle of projection, this attraction seemed lower budget than the ones that came before and the maze’s décor was somewhat forgettable. Overall, despite the numerous jump scares and hard work of the actors, this attraction was pretty unimaginative."

 

Scare rating: 6/10.           Quality rating: 4/10.

Malefica

 

Patrick:

 

"Malefica came somewhat hyped – it was the winner of the ‘Best Experience’ award at the 2022 Scare Awards – but failed to deliver on that hype. There were positives - the narrative was well delivered and both the set and map were interesting and varied, with a few unexpected environmental effects to keep you on your toes. Unfortunately, it wasn’t very scary. Without the disorienting effects of the other experiences, it was a lot easier to keep a cool head, and the characters of the scary nuns weren’t very, well, scary. The performers were doing a great job, and I certainly believed their performance, but the nuns seemed mainly focused on just sort of hanging around in the open and politely asking you to burn. Rather than scared, I mainly felt awkward for ignoring their request so many times – I’d have obliged, had there been anything even resembling a fire around (there wasn’t). Perhaps social tension is its own kind of horror.

 

Scare Rating: 5/10.           Quality Rating: 6/10.

 

Stan:

 

"Malefica is billed as the most acclaimed attraction at FEAR so we headed into this one with high hopes. While there may have been an aspect of scare fatigue - this was the final attraction we braved - this was a largely disappointing experience given Malefica’s award-winning status. While the map was far more dynamic than the House of Clowns with a varied terrain and good detail along the way, the nuns themselves never felt like they wielded too much threat – just harsh words of damnation. Saying that though, the actors were great and it felt as though they had spent some time honing their approach to torment. My experience may have been affected by being at the back of our group - it sometimes felt as though some of the actors had used all their tricks by the time they got to me. This was the attraction I had the highest expectations for, but - despite it being one of the more detailed mazes - the scares were pretty barren, which was disappointing to say the least."

 

Scare rating: 5/10.           Quality Rating: 7/10.

FEAR at Avon Valley Scream Park runs at Pixash Lane, Bath Road, Keynsham, BS31 1TP until Tuesday 31 October - grab your tickets, here.

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Article by:

Stanley Gray

Stan is a born and bred Bristolian, recently graduated from studying English Literature in Sheffield. His passions are music and literature and he spends the majority of his time in venues all over the city, immersing himself in Bristol’s alternative music scene. A lifelong Bristol City fan, Stan’s Saturdays are spent watching his team both home and away.